Over 3 months, wow, I'm a slacker!

So, it's been a while. How are things going you may ask? Well...

Since my last blog post I've started working with a new company, had to restart my weight loss goals/motivation, and I've become a mommy to a puppy!

New company, new career, new outlook! I left ABC Insurance Company in the middle of August shortly before my 27th birthday, my contract was up for renewal and after a not so pleasant few months of nonsense, I decided it was time to leave. I'm now working for an amazing local technology company where I can feel like myself and work hard without being taken for granted. I left a lot of great friends behind at ABC, but I'm finding some fun new ones here.

The pounds crept back after leaving ABC as I didn't have access to a free gym and I lost my workout buddy, I also gained a full lunch hour and found myself tempted by all of the new treats around my new office. So, I gained 15 pounds back and I am FIRED UP to get it all off by my original goal, December 2012. So, 100 lbs to go! I started using a food tracker and exercise tracker. I've also started jogging again as I would love to do my first 5k next year with my future sister in law, Leslie!

And, I'm a puppy mommy! My best college girlfriend, Chelsie, has a wonderful APBT named Zoria who gave birth to one little girl puppy who we claimed as ours when she was 3 days old. Hattie is now 11 weeks old and a bundle of energy and land shark teeth. She's a mix of hound and APBT and we couldn't love her anymore if we tried. Banx only took a day or two to adjust and now the two play like it's Monday Night Raw everyday, yes, I just made a wrestling comparison.

A ton has happened these past few months and I'm sure I've left a ton out, so again, I'll attempt to be better at this blogging thing, and thanks Autumn, for the reminder that it's okay to not update all the time!

Shame on me...

It's been over a month since I blogged last. That's awful! Well, in July we celebrated the 4th at home snuggled on the couch watching movies, we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary with a delicious meal at 131 Main (Hunky Hubby surprised me with our cake topped with our topper, he's such a keeper), and I hit my first plateau weight wise.

July was hard for some reason, my willpower was down and my taste buds were working against me. While I didn't gain any weight, I didn't lose either. So, I've started back at week one. Today was the first day and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I also spent the evening at my first yoga class. A girlfriend from highschool is an instructor at a hot yoga studio and it was amazing! She told me that no matter how much you weigh, yoga is good. You do what you can and work into the rest. I took her Long Slow Deep class and it was fabulous! I sweat my butt off and unloaded a ton of stress, it was perfect and just what I needed to start off August.


Promise to blog more this month...
J

Skinny Cocktails

It's summertime, my absolutley favorite time of the year! With my new outlook on life and being healthy, my Mom shared with me this great article on summertime skinny cocktails. After all, when you're having a cookout, nothing is better than the men at the grill and the girls sipping cocktails playing catchup.

I haven't tried the recipes yet, but they seem absolutley delicious!

Here's my PSA: Just remember, don't drink and drive!!

Checked in...



This morning I had my 6 week follow up with Dr. Bauer, since March 24th, I have lost a total of 35 pounds fully clothed and 38 pounds in my birthday suit. I lost 12 lbs in the past 6 weeks and so I DON'T have to start back at week one (thank goodness!). I get to continue on my healthy lifestyle choice eating for another 6 weeks and then we'll see what happens.

3 years ago I was working with Medi Weightloss Clinics and lost 60 pounds in slightly over 4 months, Dr. Bauer brought this up and I told him that the pace I'm going at is fine with me. I don't want to gain it back this time, I want to do it the right way and not starve myself or depend on appetite suppressants forever. I think he was a little concerned that I was okay with only losing 2 pounds a week, but he didn't say so.

My plan now is to keep doing what I'm doing, work out 5/6 days a week for an hour, but to also eat more salads and less whole grain/whole wheat products. I'm also working on not taking the appetite suppresant every day. Dr. Bauer and I agreed that it should be an "emergency use only" after this next 6 weeks, but to start weening myself off of it now.

35 pounds down, 100 to go and I'm perfectly fine with that.

Take a hike

On Memorial Day, Daniel and I headed to a hidden hiking gem in Lancaster/Kershaw, South Carolina. It's called the Forty Acre Rock Heritage Preserve. The day was hot and humid, we were prepared with bug repellent and hydration packs. Daniel is an avid mountain biker and it used to climbing, outdoor heat and the like. I am used to Zumba inside on flat floor with a fan and air conditioning. The hike wasn't too challenging, but getting used to breathing outside was. The hot moist air had me panting harder than a dog in summer. We were drenched with sweat and it was wonderful! The hike provided a beautiful "waterfall", a creek to walk beside and the pièce de résistance, the GIANT rock at the top, no not a boulder, not a mountain, but a rock covering 14 acres. We had read reviews that the rock was covered in graffiti and trash, there was graffiti, but it was not horrible. It was still beautiful. The hike was 5 miles and took us around 2 hours, not too shabby.

We took a few photos at the top...

The graffiti and a beautiful view

Natural trees and moss islands on top

View from the top

Me at the top enjoying a little slice of shade

Daniel walking around



I did take a break on the way up and sat down in the shade for a bit and just enjoyed the surroundings. I'm amazed that we had never heard of this place, but I'm glad we found it and it's not too far from home. We'll definitely go back.

Just thought I'd share

Today I was reading comments about the new "food plate" instead of the "food pyramid" and one comment really stuck out to me. "It's not about skinny or fat, it's about healthy." Looking back, I think most of my life has been focused on being skinny or fat, not just healthy. Now, my focus has changed and this comment really solidified what my new outlook is on my body. I'm more concerned about what I put in my body and the amounts, I'm more concerned about making sure I get more fruits and veggies than anything else, I'd rather drink seltzer water than a soda any day. Healthy, not skinny, not fat, just healthy. I like that.

Do you know what's REALLY fun?



Getting RID of clothes that are too big!

 Of course, they have all been sorted and donated.

So, I'm now down three pants sizes and one shirt size (height has a lot to do with the shirts, don't need to wear a belly shirt to work). That's pretty exciting.

Don't forget, I'm doing all of this through a medically supervised weight loss. No celebrity endorsed diets or magic pills here. It's working out and eating right that make the difference. Less intake, more output!! And, I can't wait to start the "Couch to 5k" program this fall. I'd like to get another 30 pounds off before I start to make it easier on the joints, ligaments and bones. I'm excited about being healthy and the changes we've made in our house. Now, if healthy food was just cheaper that would be great!!

Goodbye big clothes, hello healthy me!!

I Graduated!

Well, I graduated to a larger menu for 6 weeks. I met with Dr. Bauer last Thursday and it went pretty well. My weight loss has slowed down (totally normal) and I've kicked up the exercising. Dr. Bauer has given me a guideline of 7 days a week for 45 minutes, that is a big change for me but I'm thinking I can handle it. Some positive changes are in store for the next 6 weeks as well, I don't have to have the Green's Today and I can add in whole wheat options such as pasta and bread in moderation. I can also now have light beer and wine. No processed foods like chips, cookies or any crap like that (which is ok by me!), nice big change!



To be honest, I asked him if I could still have my green stuff. I've gotten so used to having it for lunch and its really convenient. He said only if I really wanted to. So, a new 6 week routine and then I go back mid June. If the scale hasn't moved a lot, we go back to the start.

That's where I'm at right now, time to get up and get moving!

It happened...

Yep, I cheated. Sure did. And I don't feel guilty. I'm back on track and that is what matters.

One night last week I was exhausted and grumpy and found myself digging into a small bowl of lasagna. I let my discipline falter, felt like crap right after and then hit up an hour and a half of Zumba after I was done. I'm not kidding when I say this, it wasn't worth it. Not that it wasn't good, but it was just lasagna. Nothing major about that at all. And no, I didn't cheat and then go eat my normal meal. So, it happened and I've moved on.

Daniel and I also went down to the beach this past weekend, just an overnight trip courtesy of his Grandparents. We were staying in a condo with a full kitchen and I had brought stuff to cook our usual meals with. Together, Daniel and I decided to go out to eat instead. We were on vacation, probably one of the only times we will really be able to get away (other than a camping trip or two) this year. Together, we decided that having one cheat meal on vacation wasn't that bad. That indulging on vacation is not a horrible thing. We agreed that it would only be a vacation thing or an extremely special occasion thing (I will be eating a piece of our wedding cake on our 1 year anniversary), not a once a month thing or a holiday, birthday, random celebration thing. I'll of course have to talk to Dr. Bauer about this on Thursday, but that's that. I didn't even eat my entire meal as I was stuffed after eating a portion that a 10 year old could chow down. I got my real craving out of the way and I've moved on.

All you naysayers STOP RIGHT THERE!
If you're not a naysayer, skip this part and read the next bit...
I'll agree, "normal" meals shouldn't be allowed until you've reached your goal and have been there for a bit. I agree completely. 30 pounds lost in a month and I had lasagna and Mexican in one week- what was she thinking?? Well get over yourself! You're not me and I'm not doing this for you. I don't want your advice or your pity. I don't want to hear it. I don't care if you're not going to leave a comment and just think it all in your head. Please save your non-professional advice for some fool who thinks Hydroxicut is going to help them lose 100 pounds all by itself. Two cheats in a month is much better than someone eating a Snicker's bar a day while saying that they are "trying" to lose weight. I've said my peace, so take that and shove it in your pocket.

For those of you who are interested in what my cheat was...
1/2 of a chicken burrito, about a 1/8th cup of black beans, whole wheat chips with salsa, about 2 tablespoons of Spanish rice and 2 ice cold margaritas on the rocks. It was DELICIOUS!

Funny thing... I'm a lightweight now, a serious lightweight. I'm pretty sure Daniel hasn't laughed that hard at me in a loooong time. Singing, dancing, couldn't pour the pitcher of Margarita to save my life... there was more ice on that table than anything else. Wish you could have been there to see it! Went to bed that night with a headache and a stomach ache. Guess that my body doesn't handle cheating very well... probably a good thing.

So it happened, and I'll move on like any other day. 1.5 hours of Zumba tonight, anyone wanna join??

Short and Sweet!

On my 1 month life change anniversary, I'm 27 pounds down. Awesome.

A locally sponsored blog...

I've been reading a weight loss blog sponsored by our local paper, The Charlotte Observer. You can read it here. It was actually part of the reason I started blogging on my weight loss journey instead of day to day activites or stories. The blog profiles 3 wanna be healthy people and they each blog twice a week. One of the bloggers is having a really tough time keeping her promises to herself, exercising and just being healthy in general. Her readers comments are constantly full of ridicule and judgement. I typically root for the underdog, but I don't think this blogger gets it. She dines out at places such as Chima (Brazilian steakhouse), has ice cream and then boasts about gorging herself at Easter dinner and how amazing it was.

 I can't root for her anymore, I can't leave her encouraging comments. I think of all that I have done and am doing to achieve my goal of a forever healthy lifestyle and she just makes me angry. She still says she is trying but is obviously not. I don't know why I'm so mad at someone I don't know or why her lack of willpower bothers me. I really want to see her succeed like the other two bloggers. I really wanted her to get on track and do it. Now I just don't know if she can or if she even wanted to in the first place. She's cut her blogging down to once per week and I don't want to read her excuses anymore. However, I really hope she surprises all of the readers for the sake of her health and emotional well-being.

I also feel sorry for her, I think of my amazing support system and how my family has changed things for me so that I am able to still sit down and enjoy a meal with them. I know I could do it without them, but it's much easier with them. I think of my husband, who was used to getting pizza at least 3 times a month and hasn't had any since I started on my journey. He was also used to other fun foods that no longer exist in our home, I know myself and if I get tempted by one thing it will lead to another (I do make dinner for him nightly, he gets sides that I don't, steamed carrots, potatoes, whole grain pasta, etc...). Some people will say that my family shouldn't have to change because of me. To those people, I say try to overcome something without full support and see where you go.

Getting closer to 30 lbs gone and its worth every green gunk drink in the world.
Nothing can taste as good as skinny and healthy is going to feel.
And I have my family to thank in helping me get there.

I survived my first holiday!

Usually my family does the typical Easter dinner, ham, mashed potatoes, carrot casserole, crescent rolls, and of course veggies followed by my Mom's delicious carrot cake... this year was different. My ENTIRE family is behind me in my goals and they switched the typical high calorie and tempting Easter dinner for an Easter brunch. While my family feasted on my dad's famous pancakes, a sausage breakfast casserole and fruit salad, my mom and dad made me a delicious roasted chicken salad with almonds and balsamic. Delicious and it was so nice and supportive of them to make a change for me this year. Seeing results and having an awesome family led to me wearing a pencil skirt to see the Blue Man Group (hilarious!) yesterday and to work today. I feel sexy and sassy for the first time in a long time... that's freaking awesome.

My exercise heaven

I've never loved exercise, growing up I was on the swim team from the age of 8 to the age of 18, managed pools, life guarded, coached and taught swim lessons until I was 25 and I loved all of that. So all I've ever known was swimming, I never got comfortable with an actual gym and I honestly do not want to wear a swim suit right now. My wonderful older brother is a huge gym buff, he's been in great shape for as long as I can remember and I've always envied him for that and his love for the gym. He hasn't struggled with weight like I have, I like to think he got the skinny genes. I do envy him but I've never wanted to spend hours everyday in the gym like he has (Yes, I know you have to put in the effort to take away results... ), I just never found my exercise heaven like he has.

But, what I've realized is that exercise can be fun and I don't have to even go to the gym! I just had to find my own exercise heaven. The 30 minutes of Zumba everyday get my heart going, the sweat dripping and my hips swinging. I find myself singing along in Spanish and I have no idea what the heck I am even saying. I'm hip thrusting, booty popping, clapping along and it's perfect for me! I constantly dance in the kitchen, I'm a seat dancer in the car and I love music. It's not the same routine every time and you use EVERY part of your body, even my arms are sore after some sessions. And guess what... I do it right upstairs in the bonus room. I don't have to go to the gym and wait for a stinking human hamster wheel to open up. Sure, you still have to make yourself do it when you don't want to, but the plus side is if you love it, it is easier to get off your butt and do it. I've found my exercise heaven and it's fabulous.

Everyone deserves to find their exercise heaven. If you love to dance and you haven't found yours, TRY it! I don't hit every step and I'm sure I look like a big fool, but who cares! And besides, the cool down belly dance might even come in handy some day (wink wink)...

Motivation...

Start Where You Stand
By Berton Braley

Start where you stand and never mind the past,
The past won't help you in beginning new,
If you have left it all behind at last
Why, that's enough, you're done with it, you're through;
This is another chapter in the book,
This is another race that you have planned,
Don't give the vanished days a backward look,
Start where you stand.

The world won't care about your old defeats
If you can start anew and win success;
The future is your time, and time is fleet
And there is much of work and strain and stress;
Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,
Here is a brand-new trial right at hand,
The future is for him who does and dares,
Start where you stand.

It takes a lot to lose a lot...

For those who don't want to read me whine for a bit... you might want to scroll down...

I never realized how hard this was going to be --- correction, I knew how hard it was going to be however, I didn't anticipate it being THIS hard, I've dieted before, worked with weight loss clinics, been on prescriptions and OTC's to help me with the problem. I'm a mindless eater, a food addict and an over eater, it's taken me a long time to admit that I have a problem. Food is my drug, it's my vice and I have to control it. America has a problem with obesity and I don't want to be part of a statistic anymore, I'm better than that.

I've talked to counselors and been to group sessions. I've been there and done that. This time is going to be different because this plan has been hard as hell. While the weight may be coming off pretty fast, I'm having a hard time. Tears, frustration and disgust with myself have been a pretty daily thing this past week. Maybe it's just female hormones, who knows. Daniel has been there and helped me, but its still not easy. I just want to be normal, I want to win this fight and not EVER do it again. I don't want to shop at Lane Bryant anymore!!! I'm drinking this green disgusting crap and I never want to do it again. I'm eating the same salad every night and the same cereal every morning. Routine doesn't make it easy, but it's what I need.

It takes a lot to lose a lot. It takes willpower that you have to pull from the deepest part of you, it takes family and friends that are completely supportive and that will push you through when all you really want is a bag of pretzels, cake and a diet coke. It's having a husband that understands I have a problem and helps me by helping keep bad foods out of the house. It takes the tears and the frustration, because if it were easy, it wouldn't mean enough. It takes self disgust, so that I know where I am and that I cannot stay here. I have a lot to lose and I have what it takes to lose it and keep it off.

Now for the positives!!

I've been doing Zumba and it's wonderful! I'm in love with the music, the moves and the fact that I "level up" with every routine. I get "Zumba Jammer" status when my 30 minute workout is done and that's pretty cool. I'm definitely not the most graceful or coordinated person around, but the workout is kick butt and a ton of fun. I've been doing the workouts on beginner since last week and tomorrow is my first day on intermediate. I have a feeling it's going to be hard doing steps I haven't done before, but change is good in a workout.

I'm also now down 20 pounds, Daniel and I went out with our really great friends, Michael and Erika on Sunday to dinner and I treated myself to a glass of wine. I so deserved it!! I'm not treating myself at all, so the glass of wine was a real treat. However, it was NOT very good (yes, I still finished it... who wastes wine!?!) but, it was still not water or plain green tea or my green gunk... such a treat!

It's been so nice having steak and chicken again! My boring same day everyday morning cereal (Fiber One original) is actually realllllly good with Vanilla Almond Milk and my Fiber One Cereal Bar as a snack is just enough chocolate to satisfy some cravings (not all though). This 4 week plan is a little easier than the 2 week plan!

On a side note...

A lot of people (skinny and non) have told me that they could never do what I'm doing and that makes me feel really good. I'm choosing to do it now before it's forced on me later. I'm doing it to have a better feeling about myself and to feel comfortable on a day to day basis. I want to be healthy and to never deal with Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, or any other weight related issues. I want to feel sexy and young! I want to wear a bikini again and I WILL! And yes, I want to have a healthy pregnancy when we decide to start our family and actually have a baby bump!! I'm excited about these changes and if that means I can never have bad food again, that's perfectly fine with me!



What do you do to keep yourself motivated when something gets hard?

I finished my first two weeks!

This morning was my two week follow up with Dr. Bauer and it was WONDERFUL! As you already know I have lost 15 pounds in the past two weeks, he said that was a great average. And... I got my 4 week plan! I get to switch out my breakfast Organic Frog for Fiber One Cereal, have a Fiber One cereal bar for a snack, still drinking my Organic Frog for lunch and I get to add some chicken or steak in with my salad for dinner! HEAVEN! He also said I could switch up lunch and dinner if I chose. So, today for lunch I definitely had a piece of chicken with steamed veggies. YUM! I missed chewing, I missed flavor, it was amazing. I still have to have my protein and eggs at night, but I get CHICKEN or STEAK! So wonderful.

I've also upped my physical activity, I've started doing Zumba every night for 30 minutes this week, I'm going to up it to 45 for 5 days out of the week. Zumba is awesome, I love dancing and I love how I don't really feel like I'm working out (but, it is a serious calorie burner). I'm doing it on the Wii for now and will eventually move to the beginner classes at the Y. I also plan on starting to go to the Y after work 3 days a week for 30 minutes before heading home for dinner and Zumba just to get some strength training in as well.

A few people have been wondering what exactly I have been consuming for breakfast and lunch. Organic Frog aka Greens Today is an OTC superfood, your doctor does not need to prescribe it and anyone can get it. I order it here, Greens Today is certified organic and they even offer a vegan option for those with a vegan diet. They also offer a TON of vitamins for children and adults alike. All of the ingredients are listed as well, so if anyone is wondering what's in it or the other products that Greens Today offers... check out this link.

I'm also drinking 1/2 of my body weight in ounces of water. And I am not consuming sugar, white flour based products, carrots, rice, potatoes, or beans. I'm sticking to what he's telling me and not venturing outside of that. Another thing that has been prescribed to me that helps is Apidex (Phentermine), it's an appetite suppressant. There is a lot of controversy about the medication if you search the internet, but if used correctly and as prescribed, it's a BIG help.

I go back to Dr. Bauer in 4 weeks, but I will definitely keep weighing myself and sticking to his plan. I'll keep you all updated of course! I'm just relieved that the first 2 weeks are over...

And to ALL of my girlfriends that are working on themselves... it feels darn good to make some real progress, and that's enough motivation in itself. Nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels!

Besides fat talk...

Saturday, Daniel and I were going to host a BBQ at our house (which we had to cancel because of hail, lightning, rain) with 25 of our friends. I was sooo excited to celebrate the fact that winter was over and have everyone over. Daniel had to head to REI for his last day of work and before he left, I asked him to put the table umbrella back up. When he picked it up, out came a freaking baby COPPERHEAD!! Daniel is all male, not afraid of snakes at all. He trapped it under his foot and was trying to pick it up with tongs when it slid its nasty self in between the slats on our back deck. Now, we do live in the country and I have seen mice in our backyard, so I kinda expected there to be snakes out there but I hadn't seen one yet. Now that I've seen one, I am SERIOUSLY afraid of our backyard. I am actually kind of glad that the weather came, because my scaredy butt would have been inside playing hostess while everyone else hung out in the backyard. We used something called "Snake Away", has anyone tried this and if so, did it work?? We can't get under our deck because it has wood down to the ground, but really. How do you get rid of snakes? Our neighbors on one side have two children and on the other side they rescue animals, I don't want the snakes to go in either of their yards, but I don't want them in mine either. I know they should be killed, but I can't get to them! Okay, I wouldn't do it anyways, Daniel would have to.

Anyone have any snake advice??

Struggles and Satisfaction

I know I was all go-go-go woohoo! And I'm only a week and a half in (two on Friday), but this is HARD! I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how much I would miss actually EATING lunch, I'm having steamed veggies with my lunch drink, but it's not the same. I KNOW it's only short term and that I will be better for it in the long run, but I really miss it. Sad, pitiful and ridiculous. I know. Tonight I'm going to hit up some Zumba and get over my pity party. I can't wait for Thursday to get my new plan, I'm hoping some other color is added to my diet other than white and green. Gimme some zing in there! I'm kinda glad I work in my own office, lots of people eat at their desks in the cubes and that would just be tempting and aggravating. All the smells of delicious food! It's just food.... it's just food.... it's just food. That's my mantra as of late.

But, I am now down 15 (well 16) pounds! I'm at 10% of my goal! It's pretty awesome and I love that when Daniel and I snuggle up at night he tells me I feel smaller. My clothes are fitting slightly different and my pants are a little less huggy. I'm excited to start fitting back into all of those clothes in my closet that I refused to get rid of. I'm excited to go on long bike rides with Daniel and not feel totally uncomfortable on that teeny tiny seat. And to rock some skirts! Pants get old after a bit.

Alot of people have told me that I should set smaller goals for along the way, I don't think I'm going to do that until I start hitting a plateau. Working with a doctor is a little different than going at it on your own, because I have no idea what's next. I had no idea weight would come off this quick! I understand that some of it is water, etc... but, it is weight!

I just have to get through these next two days before I get a new meal plan... I can do it. I know I can.

It's been almost a week!

I'm a bad blogger already!!

It's been almost a week since I started on my medically supervised weight loss. It has been okay so far. For breakfast and lunch I have the Organic Frog drink, I can snack on healthy steamed or fresh veggies all day (no carrots, potatoes, or other starchy/sugary veggies), I have my large salad with spinach leaves, cucumber, celery, sliced almonds and fat-free dressing for dinner and a protein shake before bed. While I've been really good with all of that, I haven't been as good as fitting in the 3 scrambled egg whites before bed with the protein shake. I'm just not hungry. I don't like eggs really to begin with, so it's been hard. I'm thinking I might add some spinach to them to make it a little easier, I'm not a fan of hot sauce on eggs and I've put ketchup on them for as long as I can remember (big no no!).

I haven't picked up my exercise as much as I should be. I worked in the yard for a few hours on Sunday (mulching, pulling weeds) and walked over a mile with Misty (a fabulous co-worker and friend) on Monday. Then... Daniel's car broke. Excuses, excuses I know. It's been rainy and I haven't been able to get to the gym (he has my car to get to school and his job). But, I WILL walk 30 minutes tonight when I get home. I know I'll feel better after and I'll get a good nights sleep because of it.

Ready for the awesome news????

 I have lost 10 pounds! I haven't cheated and I've been really good about drinking all of my water and staying away from the bad. I switched my coffee intake to low and replaced splenda with stevia. I do have some severe carb cravings though! I'm home alone at night while Daniel is at work and I can honestly say I have more willpower than I thought I did. We have wheat pasta, cereal, tortillas, popcorn, granola, CLIFF bars, and other carbs in the house that I could more than gorge myself with, but it's just NOT WORTH IT! I'd feel so guilty, I'd be mad at myself, and it's just freaking food!

I have honestly got to thank my support system in this....

My husband has been amazing in this. He's a motivator and a support system. He's even drinking the green gunk some days with me. Daniel, I love you. Thank you for your encouraging words, endless love and for you still thinking that even with 100 extra pounds, I'm the sexiest woman around. You are truly my forever love.

My Mom, even though I don't think she reads this, she's watched me struggle with my weight my entire adult life. She's supportive of every crazy method I've tried and every pound I lose. Heck, even she is going to try the green gunk! I gave her a bag with a single serving yesterday. Thanks, Mom, for kicking my ass when I need it.

My friends, even though I tend to portray myself as confident in my own skin, you all know that's not what's really going on. You understand that I can't have a bottle glass of wine this weekend and that I'll be the sober one. You're having dreams about me cheating on my diet and you being really pissed at me. You're offering help and support and laughter and encouragement that I can do this. It all means more than you could ever know.

I am amazed at the amount of support I've received from co-workers as well (Becky and Deitra- I've got your backs too girls!!). I'm overwhelmed by the positive responses from people. I know I can do this and having all of the support I have has made the last week that much easier. Sharing my struggles and my new lifestyle has made it that much easier.

So, next Thursday I go for a weigh in with Dr. Bauer and get another meal plan. I know I won't continue to lose weight this quick, and that's okay with me. Baby steps. I have a goal of 125lbs to lose by Daniel's college graduation December 2012. Totally reasonable!

When it gets hard to keep going, I know that what's in store for me is better than the way a pizza tastes.

10 down! 10 down! 10 down!!

Waking up to "The Greens"

Today I started "The Greens", my usual delightful apple with peanut butter and large coffee is now replaced by a gagalicious green super food beverage...

Doesn't that just look DELICIOUS!?!

Yea, I know. Not really. But, I'm willing to do whatever Dr. Bauer tells me to do. Medically Supervised weight loss is no joke after all. This super food beverage tastes like a liquid vitamin, is chalky and downright gross. I had a hard time getting the first dose down, I'm hoping lunch goes much better. Daniel tried it last night before I had a chance and said it wasn't bad... this coming from a man that can eat pretty much anything. I should have known better. Gagged twice and had a really hard time keeping it down for a few minutes. Drinking it through a straw as fast as I could with my eyes closed made it easier. How sad is that? I'm sure that I will adjust to the taste, but ewwww! I know, I know. It will all be worth it!

I brought some steamed peas to munch on throughout the day, so at least I have that to look forward to! And LOTS and LOTS of water. 150 oz. to be exact. I think I might float away today...

Now I'll leave you with that wonderful picture of my breakfast and lunch in your head and my motivational quote...

 "The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live." Socrates

Can't wait to be half of me for life!

I had my meeting with Dr. Bauer this morning to go over my blood work and to get the information to start my medically supervised weight loss. I know people are probably wondering why I don't just join Weight Watchers or just eat right and work out. I'm one of those people that needs someone to report to, someone to hold me accountable, and I need a strict plan to follow. If I can choose it on my own or just go to a meeting where you do a group session, I don't get much out of it. I'd probably benefit from a personal trainer as well, but that's just not in the budget.

Blood work results were better than I expected, the only thing wrong with me was actually pre-albumin (nutrition levels, etc...). Believe it or not, I'm actually malnourished. He said its more than likely a result of my years of yo-yo dieting. So, we're going to get back on track.

He gave me my first two weeks plan, which includes something called "Organic Frog; Greens Today"

Yes, it's MENS formula... and the libido/prostate thing is kinda cracking me up! But, it's a superfood and I have to drink it for breakfast and for lunch... I don't see this stuff tasting very good, but its nutrition at its best. I will post a picture after I make my first batch.

125 lbs to go!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!



Tomorrow is THE day!

Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment with Dr. Bauer and I am extremley excited and nervous all at the same time! I'm anxious to hear what he has to say and excited to get my meal plan. He told me to enjoy food last week, because soon it would all change... so, we have! However, I haven't eaten THIS bad in months. Olive Garden, Brooklyn Pizza, Tacos, Fettucini Alfredo... I'm feeling sluggish! I know I shouldn't have indulged this past week, its not even worth it. But, onto better things tomorrow and I can't wait to be half my current size next year!!! Update again tomorrow...

Where did the weekend go?

It's Monday again! How does that happen so fast and where does time go?

Thursday was my first appointment with Dr. Bauer of Bauer Family Medicine, he was unlike most doctors and explained everything to a T. Was patient with questions and really just got to know me. He did a blood panel and while my results are available on-line (how cool is that??), I have another appointment with him this Thursday to go over what everything really meant (can we say information overload on the internet?) and I'll start my weight loss program that day! I'm excited and ready! Sure, I know I'll have cravings and miss certain things, but its only food. It's not a human and the only thing we really need food for is nutrition. Why I have an emotional attachment to food is beyond me, but when I'm stressed/sad/feeling a little chaotic it's the first thing I turn to. With that said, I'm really excited for Thursday and to get off of this roller coaster.

Ironically, Friday was our bake sale fundraiser for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation! We raised $312 dollars in a 2 hour time frame, I was honestly overwhelmed with the support we received.

I baked a Pineapple Upside Down Bundt Cake and it smelled wonderful and baked beautifully!

This golden pineapple beauty auctioned off for $12.00!

I also baked an assortment of brownies and cookies for $1.00 grab bags and they went FAST! The hardest part of baking everything while being good is that I honestly didn't taste anything and was really worried about selling it off. However, everyone really enjoyed the brownies and cookies. Baking 6 dozen peanut butter and 6 dozen chocolate dunkers was definitely worth it. I'm going to love presenting the JDRF with the envelope full of money on April 12th and I can't wait for the 3 mile walk at Carowinds on April 16th.

Saturday the hunky husband went off to work and I cleaned and did laundry and treated myself to a $15.00 pedicure! I LOVE COUPONS! With all the rain lately, I was feeling a little bored all alone at home and decided my feet needed to be ready for spring. I do love a pedicure!

Sunday we met up with Daniel's Dad and his wife, QP (they are currently trucking their way around the US) and my brother in-law Chris, Lissette and their sweet beautiful girls (my nieces) Elizabeth and Eleonor. We had lunch at Lonestar Steakhouse (2 meals for $25 with an appetizer!) and then everyone headed back on the road. Daniel and I headed home for a bit and then went to my parents house for my Mom's delicious Yankee Pot Roast and some good family time.

We had something wonderful happen last week as well! The hunky husband is a full-time student at UNCCharlotte (GO 49ers!) and is earning his degree in Mechanical Engineering Technology so scheduling hours with R.E.I. was near impossible (5 hours a week just sucks!), so he's been interviewing here and there and everywhere and somethings finally clicked! He's taken a position with Southeastern Freight as a freight handler from 6pm-10pm M-F making some very decent money and it works with his school schedule, that's amazing!!! Also, he's been interviewing with Siemen's since November (his DREAM company and DREAM job) and had an interview with them again on Friday. So please, if it is your custom, keep us in your prayers. BIG positive steps for the Newbern household on the horizon! Daniel and I agreed I wouldn't speak of any of our BIG problems on here, but if any of you have ever had a spouse/partner in school full time and only one of you really working, you understand completely what good news all of this has been. 

I can't wait to see what comes at us next! Hopefully our 2 steps forward will stay that way. Now, only if the weather would cooperate...

Till next time... J

I neglected to tell you about myself...

So, after my first post, I realized that I'm dumping on people without telling them a single thing really about myself! So here are some basics!

Yankee born, Southern raised. I'm one of those transplants that moved to NC from CT when I was 4. I do consider myself a Southern girl, but I love my yankee roots! Nothing beats sweet tea on a hot sticky Carolina summer day or wearing shorts at Christmas.

I'm a hometown girl, Daniel and I live 15 minutes from my parents and 25 from his. I love knowing what's where and which back roads to take when traffic is horrible. Daniel and I actually went to middle school together, but didn't reconnect for a decade after that.

I went away to college at Western Carolina University (GO CATS!), earned my Bachelor of Arts in English with a concentration in Literature and a minor in Principles of Education and SWORE that I would never go back to Charlotte, swore that I would live in Asheville and never look back except to visit family. However, after living in the mountains after graduation, I realized that home really was where my heart was and headed back. Good thing I did, or else I would have never re-met Daniel. Should I rewind 15 years? Why not?

Daniel and I were in band together in middle school (complete DORK, I know) and actually sat next to each other. He was the shy and quiet kid... I've always been the loud outgoing one. I don't remember if we were friends or not, but I do know that I signed his yearbook, gave him my phone number and then he moved away and never called... don't blame him, I was a HUGE flirt.

Fast forward to 2008, I've moved back to the parents house and go out one night with some people from work and bump into this handsome (then bald bald bald) man who says he knows me. I say no you don't and walk away. But, he really does. He knew my name and where we knew each other from. It all slowly comes back to me and the rest is history.

This is us on Halloween, a few weeks after we started dating...



 We have been inseperable since then. We bought our first home together May, 2010 (he moved in and rennovated, I stayed at my parents), we got married July 31 and I moved in after that. It's been eventful getting used to living with a guy that's not my brother, but Daniel is so handy and so helpful. I married a manly man! We adopted a cat named Banx who makes every day entertaining, okay, mainly aggravating, but he's getting better.

Meet Banx, our Russian Blue mute maniac...



Day to day I work like most people, I'm a 9-5er with a job creating marketing pieces and client proposals for members of my development center. When I go home, I'm all for some reading, gardening, Zumba or just goofing around with my husband and friends. Wanna know more, just ask!

And, please leave comments if you have anything to say!

So... here we go!

I've been contemplating blogging for quite some time now. I've grown tired of Facebook (even though I use it frequently) and would like to post something other than a status update ranting that  "I despise Monday!" or the typical "Dinner with friends". My life just has more to it than that, and after chatting with other friends that have blogs, this might just be the proper place for me to be. I don't honestly know how often I will update this thing, or if I even have anything worth while to say. Mostly, this blog is going to address where I am now and what's been going on as of late. So... here we go!


The past 10 years of my life have been a rollercoaster of weight loss and weight added. Like many women, I've watched my weight ebb and flow... wait, ebb and flow isn't right. It's more like the tide. I have the tendancy to lose 25, 50 or even 100 pounds (sometimes more) and gain it back. I'm only 26 years old and it's my own fault. Honestly, I blame myself. Not fad diets, not Daniel (the hottie, hunky husband), not my genetics. Myself and only myself. So, this Thursday I'll be happily taking my butt to a new general physician. My OB recommended him so that I can get off of this rollercoaster for the last time. In the past 3 years I have gained 100 pounds. Yes, that's disgusting. Yes, I've been lazy. Yes, I've been eating wrong. So for those random "anonymous" people that like to leave negative comments, feel free to leave them. You're not saying anything I haven't told myself. While I don't intend this blog to be a weight loss/motivational blog, for the most part that's the biggest struggle in my life and always has been.

So. Day 1 down... let's see how may more I can do.